Blog 5: Paper 1 Analysis

In the first paper it seemed that I was raising arguments that weren't exactly what I was supposed to argue based off of my thesis. That seemed to be the biggest issue. I know that at least in my head the arguments are necessary to help prove my thesis, but I should have maintained a tighter control on them and shown how they helped to prove my thesis. This lack of control probably arose from weak-ish topic sentences and not really paying attention to them. I didn't exactly plan any topic sentences for my paragraphs, but I think they did wind up becoming functional topic sentences. However, even if they did turn out to be topic sentences, I didn't pay attention to them and try to force my paragraphs into strict adherence to them.

In the second paper I tried to point out more of how the sentences in my paragraphs relate to the topic sentence and thesis. It was a little bit difficult because I had to use many examples from the film, but at the same time I didn't want it to turn into a summary. But by stating how each example tied back in with the topic sentence and thesis I think it may have gotten a little repetitious at times.